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Mullet Car

2015 March 27
by Craig Tisinger

I see this car daily in my office parking lot. It is so ugly. I’ve often thought that to myself when I’ve walked by it. What is it? Whatever it is, it looks like a mullet.

I’ve made a point over the past week to get a good picture of it. It’s been hard to get it in decent lighting without anyone parked next to it. I was finally able to get a good photo of it while out walking at work today.

I truly don’t know what kind of car it is. I think it may be a Subaru of some kind, but I am not certain. Before writing this post, I searched online for cars that fit its description and photo. I simply can’t find a reliable answer on the make and model. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. If I ever find out, I’ll post it in the comments.

Mullet car

Go To Hell Aunty Acid

2015 March 22
by Craig Tisinger

I despise the incredibly lame Aunty Acid cartoons. My hatred has reached the point that I am writing a blog post about it. It’s been on my Hate List for some time, but I feel the need to take it a step further and reemphasize my point.

First off, I don’t understand the difference between Aunty Acid on Facebook and those old Maxine greeting cards. In my mind, they are the same person. The characters are suspiciously similar. I suppose that Maxine is supposed to be a slightly older person, but who cares. They are both dumb.

Aunty Acid is half-witted cartoon character that propagates through Facebook. The themes and captions of the cartoons are incredibly lame and downright not amusing. Only old people would find any humor in it. That said, I know a few young people who take pleasure in sharing these stupid cartoons on their timelines. One friend of mine even has the audacity to post this crap on Instagram! The horror! I find that offensive on multiple levels. If we weren’t close friends, I would delete him.

I scold my friends who share this trash. They are well aware of how much I hate it. Keep in mind that we are talking about 30-year-olds. You would think they were 90 by sharing this garbage. I think less of anyone who finds any amusement in these awful cartoons.

I have had it up to here with seeing this bullshit. I can’t take it anymore. Someone needs to write a browser plugin that removes this garbage from the Internet. I do not ever want to see another Aunty Acid cartoon again. Ever!

I’m going to add a picture to this post, as an example, so you can see what I am talking about. But believe me, it pains me greatly to post such trash on my blog.

Aunty Acid can go to hell. Whoever makes a living drawing this shit needs to find a new line of work.

Aunty Acid

My Take on Dressgate

2015 February 28
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by Craig Tisinger

It’s been more than 24-hours since the whole dress debacle took the Internet by storm. It is practically old news by now. I figured I’d write something and weigh in on the matter before the entire subject is played out, if it isn’t already.

I was watching TV most of the evening last night and wasn’t looking at Twitter or the Internet in general. A friend texted me a photo of the now infamous dress, and innocently asked me what color it was. From my initial first glance, I replied that it appeared to be blue and gray. She didn’t agree with me, which blew my mind. I soon realized that this was circulating all over the Internet.

I fired up my Twitter feed and sure enough, nearly every single tweet that I read was about that stupid dress. It was all the rage. I’ve never quite seen such a thing take off in that way. It was suddenly everywhere. The debate over the color of the dress was boiling over. Articles were being written. Experts were chiming in. It was total mayhem.

It completely blows my mind that some people could honestly believe that the dress is white and gold. I find it hard to believe that anyone could possibly think that. There is not a speck of white anywhere on that dress. I think people were taking that stance just to get a rise out of the rest of us. Either that, or they are completely mad.

At 11:15 PM, I weighed in and tweeted: “I’m tired of hearing about that stupid dress. It’s #blueandblack. Anyone who says otherwise is a monster.”

I must point out that the photo is horribly washed out. The only reason I said gray was because the color saturation was so weak that the black in the dress didn’t look all that black. However, I could still easily deduce that the dress was black and blue in real life. The blown out lighting to the right side of the dress is a total distraction from the object itself. Perhaps that’s what was throwing people off? I don’t know.

It was later confirmed that the dress is indeed black and blue, both from the woman who took the photo, and from a listing of the dress for sale on Amazon. There is not a hint of gold or white to be found in the dress. Again, I insist that anyone who thought that in the first place was either lying or completely crazy.

The speed at which “dressgate,” as some clever person dubbed it, took a life of its own was truly amazing. It spread like wildfire. Within a few short hours, it seemed that everyone was talking about it. The subsequent jokes and counter photos that were posted soon after were truly hilarious. There are some really funny and creative people in the world. Despite the anger and disagreement that took place over the photo, the hilarious jokes that followed it made the event worthwhile.

When I got to work the following morning, I printed the picture of the dress in grayscale on my printer, and handed it to my friend who had texted the photo me originally. I added a caption that read, “Now it’s black and white.” Ha! It was the least I could do.

Dressgate

Jeff Bridges Sleeping Tapes

2015 February 17
by Craig Tisinger

I recently heard about Sleeping Tapes. Sleeping Tapes is an album recorded by Jeff Bridges to help assist you in going to sleep. I’ve listened to it for the past two nights and I really enjoyed it.

The project was part of an ad campaign for Squarespace. The commercial ran during Super Bowl 2015 a couple of weeks ago. If you visit the link above, you can get information on the project and download the entire digital album for free. You are encouraged to donate money to the charity No Kid Hungry, but you can download it without donating, if you choose.

Sleeping Tapes is certainly a bit strange overall, but it is intriguing to say the least. You must listen to the tracks in order, as they blend and weave together. The first time I listened to it, I accidentally had my iPod on shuffle and I was a little confused during a couple of transitions until I realized what was happening.

There are 15 tracks on the album. My favorites are: Introduction (Good Evening), The Raven, and Temescal Canyon. At 11 minutes, Temescal Canyon is by far the longest track. My least favorite track is See You at the Dreaming Tree. That one has sounds of little kids laughing and running around. That kind of noise doesn’t relax me at all. That track could have been eliminated from the production, in my opinion.

The entire album is 44 minutes. I wish it were longer. I hope that Jeff Bridges decides to record a sequel. I don’t know if he has any incentive to do so, but I think that given the positive reception to Sleeping Tapes, the masses would welcome a second album.

Give Sleeping Tapes a listen. You can play any track directly on the website if you don’t wish to download the entire album. At the very least, listen to the Introduction track. It’s only 2 minutes long and it sets the tone for that lies ahead.

Happy sleeping!

Jeff Bridges Sleeping Tapes

Hotel Master Bedroom

2015 January 29
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by Craig Tisinger

I have a grand idea for the ultimate master bedroom in my future house. I think that the master bedroom should be completely self-sustaining without regard to the rest of the house.

I want the bedroom to be an exact replica of a fancy hotel room, complete with all of the features of one. A king size bed would be the centerpiece of the room, but that’s only the beginning. The room should be fitted with a bathroom, shower, and walk-in closet, naturally.

Beyond that, it should have a desk, table and chairs, a small refrigerator, microwave, and a coffee pot. It should have everything a hotel room has. I want it to look exactly like a hotel room. In fact, I even want one of those large air conditioner/heater window units that I love listening to when I’m staying in a hotel. Crank it up.

The door to the room should be thick and heavy, complete with a peephole, and all of the appropriate locks. Perhaps toss in a mock card reader, for effect.

I love staying in hotels. This bedroom would be like a home away from home, except it is at home. It would be even better than a hotel, because in my room, the TV remote wouldn’t be nailed to the nightstand.

I should be able to live in this one room without needing to use the rest of the house at all. Imagine how convenient it would be when houseguests are staying over.

If I could direct a house to be built to my specifications, I would make this a reality. Wouldn’t it be awesome? Yes. Yes, it would.

Movie Review: Leprechaun

2015 January 14
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by Craig Tisinger

Tonight I watched Leprechaun, the low-budget horror movie released in 1993. This was the first of what would later become a five-movie franchise, a fact that I find rather mind-boggling. It had a budget of only $900,000. The majority of the movie was filmed in a single remote location, so I suppose a large budget wasn’t necessary.

Let me begin by saying that this movie is obviously very dumb. I certainly knew that going in. It moved a little slow near the beginning of the film when the main characters were being introduced. The movie had its funny moments, though. At no point did I find the movie to actually be scary. I believe they were attempting to make a somewhat scary movie, but the final production came across as more silly than anything else. The Leprechaun’s silly voice and constant use of puns played a large role in that.

Jennifer Aniston is in the movie! I didn’t know that before I watched it. It was actually her first movie role. She looked young and hot. She was wearing a skirt or shorts for the duration of the film; despite the fact that during some of the night scenes, it was so cold outside that you can clearly see everyone’s breath. That didn’t make a whole lot of sense. There was no explanation of what time of year any of this took place.

One element I found surprising is that Aniston’s character Tory owned a cell phone. The phone was thinner than I expected it to be. Remember, this was 1993. The movie was released in January of that year, so it was probably filmed in 1992. Those were very early days for cell phones. Despite that, she makes calls on it from the remote farmhouse where most of the movie takes place. I have my doubts that in those days a call could be made from a location like that.

The acting was not all that great. The movie had a fairly small cast. A few seemed like very rookie actors. Having said that, I felt that the acting got better overall as the film progressed. Either that, or I simply grew numb to how lackluster the performances were.

Tory moves into an abandoned house and two painters appeared on the scene shortly after she moves in. I have no idea where they came from. She walked outside and they were suddenly out there painting. I don’t know what vehicle brought them to the house, or who hired them. If that was explained at any point, I missed it. The painters amounted to a mentally slow adult named Ozzie and a kid named Alex. Why was a kid painting the house? Beats me. It was not explained what their relationship to each other was. They weren’t father and son because they both used their first names with each other. I was baffled by their presence for the duration of the movie. The actor who played the role of Ozzie was probably the weakest of the bunch. His performance bothered me at times.

One bit of praise I will offer is that Tory and the attractive male lead, Nathan, never kissed despite a lot of on-screen flirting. I expected there to be a kiss or some sort of hint that they were going to end up together after the drama with the Leprechaun ended. None of that happened. That was refreshing.

The previous owner of the house had been living in a nursing home for the past ten years. We met him in the opening scene, which took place ten years in the past. When Tory later goes to visit him to ask about the killer Leprechaun, the man hadn’t aged a day. I thought they could have at least tried to show some passing of time using makeup or something, especially since he has been in a nursing home. That was pretty sloppy.

The plot contained a lot of worn out tactics to build suspense. The truck wouldn’t start at the most critical moment, and that alone happened more than once. The trusty shotgun jammed at a very inopportune time. Every time someone was running from the Leprechaun, that person fell down at least once. That happened several times. Typical!

I noticed many times where the filmmakers sped up the motion to make it seem like something or someone was moving faster than they were. The trick wasn’t even done subtly. It was very deliberate and cheesy. The effect made those scenes look very silly, reminiscent of something like The Three Stooges.

A joke about Lucky Charms was made not once, but twice. I figured as much. The first reference came in the form of a prominently placed box of cereal in the cabinet, except the cereal was named Lucky Clovers, using a design that was intentionally similar to that of Lucky Charms. I suppose they didn’t get permission to use the real cereal in the movie. Do you have to get permission to use a product in a film? I don’t know.

At the end of the movie, the Leprechaun falls in a well. Nathan pours a can of gasoline in the well and tosses in a match. Everyone darts away and it suddenly explodes into a massive fireball that was comically large. One can of gas is not going to cause an explosion of that exaggerated magnitude. I thought I would point that out.

Overall, this movie is definitely not good. It is 93 minutes. It is amusing in places, but it’s not worth watching the entire movie to find those moments. I would only recommend watching it if you are home sick and have nothing else to do. I rated it 2 out 5 stars on Netflix.

The Film Sack podcast reviews this movie in episode 221. Now that I’ve seen the movie, I’m going to give that episode a listen. I wanted to write my review before I heard it so that the podcast wouldn’t skew my opinion.

Leprechaun Poster