For instance, I can be behind closed doors in a bathroom stall when lo and behold, some idiot struts in and cozies up to the urinal that is directly adjacent to my stall. He’s so close that his shoes practically penetrate the boundary of my personal space. I can literally stare at his twitching foot while I’m sitting on the commode. This is horrible! Why do men do this repeatedly, when there are other toilets that are farther away from me?

Continuing the Men’s room rule: If there are a line of urinals in the bathroom, do not for any reason come and stand next the one I’m using. Everybody knows that! Everybody, except for half the men I encounter in an actual bathroom! What is wrong with you people? Let me be clear. I never want to stand shoulder to shoulder with anyone and urinate together. Ever!

Furthermore, men, when you’re reliving your bladders, it isn’t necessary for you to deliberately force out a fart while you do it. I mean, really. One may slip out here and there, but to proudly fire off your farts amongst strangers isn’t the least bit appreciated, I can assure you.

I’ve also noticed that a man who is occupying a stall will start blowing their nose when I walk in the bathroom. They’re obviously making a halfhearted attempt to cover up the sound of their sputtering ass. I have news for you fellows, you’re not fooling anyone. You’re noses are almost never clogged, and besides, I can still hear the painful echos of your bloody diarrhea throughout the bathroom.

And another thing. If I’m already in a stall minding my own business, don’t come waltzing in the bathroom and fiddle with the sink for 10 minutes. I have this experience regularly. Men walk in the bathroom and begin rinsing the coffee pot or their lunch containers, and run the water at full blast for what seems like an eternity. All while combing their hair, or staring in the mirror performing some other mindless ritual. This is a public bathroom, not a shower or a kitchen! Get the hell out!

I can’t imagine a single man disagreeing with me on what I’ve just wrote. Still, I say this knowing that tomorrow, one of the terrible sequences of events mentioned above will inevitably transpire before me yet again. Good grief.

I read the above instructions on Twitter, and did just that. This is a gag that has apparently been making the rounds online for a while. Basically, people have been taking pictures of their head in a freezer and uploading them with the tag “241543903.” It’s such a specific search term that all you see are these silly pictures.

I had to make one myself! My brother was in town and helped me stage some funny pictures with my freezer. Adding to the amusement, my cousin got on-board and coaxed her son to put his head in a freezer, too! Hilarious! I uploaded my best photo to Flickr and tagged it appropriately. Now I have to sit back and wait for Google to index it.

Below you will see the picture of my head in my freezer. Even better, what you actually see is a printout of the picture, stuck to the front of my freezer, and staged with my awesome Photoshop refrigerator magnet set! That makes it a double joke. I’m quite proud of this creation!

It’s a shame that this show was ultimately canceled by Fox. However, according to Internet rumors, an Arrested Development movie is due out sometime in 2009! I haven’t been able to find a release date or finalized plot details, but IMDB already has a page for this future movie, which I assume is still in the making. What fun! I look forward to it!

The story was great, the jokes were funny, and the casting was superb. The casting was what really made this movie. The actors chosen for these roles were perfect and absolutely spot-on. While watching this movie and rolling with its hilarity, I felt I was watching what would become a cult classic, whose magic could never be recaptured in a sequel. Bravo to the makers of this film! It was the funniest movie of 2007.

In doing a quick bit of research for this post, I found a message board on the Sci-Fi Channel website where fans post messages about the show. I am in awe of the absurdity of their comments. Viewers write of holding their loved ones on the couch while watching the superheros compete, wiping back tears, and feeling overwhelming emotion at what they are watching. They then sign their posts with a photo of themselves in costume, complete with an ID card for their personal superhero character. Are these people serious?!

Let me be clear that I don’t watch this show! I just saw an episode on this week and ended up watching it play out in utter disbelief to what the reality show scene has become. I feel so embarrassed for these people! This show belongs on Comedy Central, not on Sci-Fi — if it has a place on TV at all. The grand prize should be a gun that they can off themselves with when the show is over.