Movie Review: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I rented the latest Indiana Jones movie, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I loved the Indiana Jones films when I was growing up,
and had high hopes for this film when I sat down to watch it. The new movie is absolutely horrible. Let me explain.

I was sorely disappointed. The plot was just awful. The whole movie felt like a family presentation on the Disney channel. The boy that Indiana brought on his adventure just happened to be his son, and the mom of the boy was being held captive, which just so happened to be in a place they passed through. The movie was so “family” it was disgusting.

The stunts performed in this movie were absurd. At one point, the boy is straddling two Jeeps that are speeding through a dense jungle, while simultaneously sword-fighting a passenger in one of the Jeeps, and all the while, taking time to smile at the camera. Half of the movie was performed by stuntmen. The movie looked like it was filmed in a small studio surrounded by green screens. It looked so digitized the whole time, it was a major distraction.

Despite the tens of thousands of bullets flying at Indiana and his family, not a single one of them got hit once. It was unrealistic to the point of being cartoonish. And I haven’t even mentioned that Indiana Jones literally survives a nuclear blast at a bomb test site by hiding in a refrigerator, only to emerge a half a mile away in the debris without so much as a speck of dust on his clothes. Geez! Even during the final scenes where they are supposedly battered and bruised, Harrison Ford’s jacket still looks like it was just taken from a hanger at the store!

Don’t waste your time with this disaster of a movie.

Author: Craig Tisinger

Snarf!

One thought on “Movie Review: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”

  1. I think that you forget the plots to all of the other Indiana Jones movies were just as unbelievable. And of course the stunts of the original 3 were true to all the laws of physics and known science.

    I love the old ones, and yes, the latest installment is a bit hard to swallow. But, I think as an adult, you have removed your “willing suspense of disbelief (and BS)” glasses that you had when you were a kid.

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