In the early days of my Hate List, I added a rant about birdwatching. I’d largely forgotten about it because the topic simply never comes to mind. That was until recently when heard the term “birders” for the first time. Birders are birdwatching enthusiasts. Wikipedia defines birding as “the observation of birds as a recreational activity.” I decided it’s time that I sound off on this brainless excuse for a pastime.

It baffles me that anyone would admit to taking part in birdwatching, let alone take it to the lengths that they do. Armed with binoculars, cameras, and expensive mobile phone apps that have pictures, drawings and sounds of every bird in existence, these lunatics think they are really doing something useful. They aren’t.

Birdwatching is not a hobby. I dare say that it isn’t even a real activity. It is nothing but complete and utter nonsense. I would say that it borders on the ridiculous, but it sails right past it. I can’t imagine how any sound-minded human being can be entertained for more than five minutes standing around watching a bunch of birds. I shake my head in awe that anyone could take such a moronic activity seriously. The coining of the term “birder” makes me feel that birdwatchers are attempting to legitimize themselves and make cool something that totally isn’t.

If I haven’t made my point clear enough, I’ll take it even further. Watching birds as a hobby is the single stupidest thing that anyone could possibly do at any given moment. It amounts to nothing more than a colossal, pathetic waste of time. If you take pleasure in such foolishness, then wake up, because you desperately need to get a life. You’re throwing yours away.

Author: Craig Tisinger


6 thoughts on “Birders”

  1. To paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, “If you watch birds a lot, you’re known as a birdwatching enthusiast. I like birds, but I just don’t want to ever be referred to as a ‘birdwatching enthusiast’. I hope they call me ‘a guy who likes birds’.”

  2. This post was brutal. I don’t dislike birds, but I find them to be a little annoying. They are so loud around here in the morning, it’s like I’m stepping outside into a jungle.

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