Night of the Lanyard

Lanyard is a misguided word.

Two years ago, I donned a neck strap with my company logo that displayed my employee ID badge. I rarely wear it. It is a thick cloth material that is rather warm on my neck in the summer months. These days, I wear my employee ID badge on my waist.

Once upon a time, I was wearing my neck strap, and a co-worker friend of mine walked up to me and said, “Oh, you have a lanyard.” I looked left and right, trying to figure out what he was talking about. I asked him what he meant. He explained that he was referring to the thing that I was wearing around my neck.

I don’t want to come across as being stupid, but I did not know what the word “lanyard” meant until that day, two years ago. I’m sure I’ve heard and read that word before that day, but it did not resonate at the time.

I take issue with the word “lanyard.” I very much dislike it.

It is a stupid word. When I hear the word “lanyard,” I think of an old haunted plantation. That is how the word resonates with me. It sounds like a word from a horror movie. It doesn’t sound like a word to describe something around your neck.

A couple of years ago, I wrote about this on Twitter. I tweeted: “Night of the Lanyard.” I’m sure that came across as completely random. I’m sure that nobody knew what I was talking about, but it was a joke in my own head.

The word is downright creepy.

There has to be another word we can use. If not, let’s create a new word for a strap around your neck. “Lanyard” is the most misguided word I can think of in the English language. I don’t approve of it at all. Let’s dispose of it.

Author: Craig Tisinger


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