I Hate the Minions

I hate the Minions. I have been meaning to write this post for some time. The Minions movie came out over last weekend and I saw enough tweets and posts about it that I hastily recorded an audio post where I ranted and raved. Having already done that, I’ll keep this post rather brief.

You can hear all about why I don’t like them in my audio post. After listening to my recording, I will admit that I was extremely harsh on the subject. I feel a little more relaxed about it today, but my overall opinion remains the same.

The Minions are not cute or funny to me in any way. I didn’t see the movie they first appeared in, and I’m most certainly not going to watch the Minions movie. Heck no. What bothers me the most about these unlovable cartoon characters are the pictures I’ve been subjected to on Facebook over the years. People post little memes and quotes that have a picture of a Minion next to the words. I don’t know how that became a thing. They are not the least bit amusing. I wish I could filter every last one of them out of my news feed.

As I mentioned in my audio recording, I saw the trailer for the Minions movie last week. It was absolutely unbearable. It was completely unlikable and not the least bit funny or amusing. I was cringing the entire time I had to sit and endure it. It was painful.

Unfortunately, with all of the marketing and toy sales that have gone into this, I have no doubt that there will be a Minions 2 and 3, and beyond. This garbage will probably live on forever, much to my dismay.

I am debating about whether or not to include a picture at the end of this post. I want to include one as a mere example of what I’m talking about, but at the same time I do not want to subject myself or anyone else to having to look at it. (I’ve decided that I’m not going to.)

Go away Minions!

Movie Review: Pinocchio’s Revenge

I was scrolling through the movies on Netflix recently and found a horror movie called Pinocchio’s Revenge. It seemed like my kind of bad movie, so I added it to my watch list. I sat down and watched it last night. I wrote a few silly tweets as I watched the movie. This morning I read some of the user reviews on IMDB and that has made me want to write my own.

I didn’t notice before I started the movie that it was made in 1996. I assumed it had been made only a few years ago. Now that filmmaking has gone digital, a rash of really bad movies are being made these days. I had assumed this was one of them. Despite the silly premise, this movie was actually attempting to be serious.

The screen aspect ratio is only 4:3, not 16:9. That was a little off-putting, but I soon adapted to it. I suppose that the studio didn’t want to pay the extra money to film it in the wide format. It could be the case that the copy that Netflix uses is simply limited to 4:3. I don’t know.

The clothes in this movie looked very dated to me. That is really saying something for me to have noticed that, because I have very little fashion sense at all. I do realize that 1996 was 19 years ago (hard to believe!) but the clothes, particularly the jeans worn in this movie looked more like they were from the late 80s. That is not of any real significance; I just thought I’d point it out.

The cast was comprised of a bunch of no-named people, as least as far as I know. I didn’t recognize anyone in the movie. I thought that the acting was good overall. The best performance was delivered by the little girl Zoe. She was excellent for a child actor. She did the best acting in the movie. I looked her up on IMDB to see what other movies she may have later starred in. Sadly, she hasn’t been in much of anything, nor does she even have a photo on IMDB. That’s too bad because I thought she did a very good job. Considering how long ago this movie was filmed, she is probably pushing 30 years old by now, I would guess.

One simple tweak that could have made this movie much better was the appearance of the doll. Dolls are generally creepy to begin with, but this one should have looked more sinister, considering that the plot of the movie revolves around him. In my opinion, he didn’t look disturbing enough. They could have squeezed more horror out of the movie if he both looked and sounded more frightening. His voice was a little annoying. I wanted to slap him more than run away from him.

One particular scene that bothered me was when the housekeeper was attacked in the hall with the fireplace poker. The attacker isn’t visible, and the audience is made to be unsure if it is Zoe or the doll that is doing the killing. Either way, the housekeeper should have easily been able to defeat an attacking doll or a little girl. Instead, one whack with the poker and she goes down for the count. Really? Come on.

A scene that I thought was brilliantly shot was the one where Zoe runs into the street at night and a car is zooming toward her to mow her down. It turns out to be two motorcycles that zoom past her on either side. The suspense, timing, and execution of that scene were spot-on. Well done.

After having read a number of user reviews on IMDB, it seems that the ending of the movie is a bit controversial. There is a lot of disagreement over whether the ending was clever or lazy. I don’t want to spoil the ending by mentioning the series of events directly, but I will say that I was okay with what took place. It did end rather abruptly, but it made the viewer rethink what had happened over the course of the movie. I’m happy that they didn’t pull some stunt in the final moments to tease a possible sequel. I guarantee you that if this movie were filmed today, that would have been done. Filmmakers can’t seem to help themselves these days.

Overall, Pinocchio’s Revenge was fairly entertaining. It had the look and feel of the kind of movie you’d see on the USA Network or something. It wasn’t scary enough to be true horror, but it wasn’t campy enough to be funny. The result was simply meh. I’m glad that it was only 96 minutes. I rated it 2 out of 5 stars on Netflix.

Pinocchio's Revenge poster

Movie Review: Leprechaun

Tonight I watched Leprechaun, the low-budget horror movie released in 1993. This was the first of what would later become a five-movie franchise, a fact that I find rather mind-boggling. It had a budget of only $900,000. The majority of the movie was filmed in a single remote location, so I suppose a large budget wasn’t necessary.

Let me begin by saying that this movie is obviously very dumb. I certainly knew that going in. It moved a little slow near the beginning of the film when the main characters were being introduced. The movie had its funny moments, though. At no point did I find the movie to actually be scary. I believe they were attempting to make a somewhat scary movie, but the final production came across as more silly than anything else. The Leprechaun’s silly voice and constant use of puns played a large role in that.

Jennifer Aniston is in the movie! I didn’t know that before I watched it. It was actually her first movie role. She looked young and hot. She was wearing a skirt or shorts for the duration of the film; despite the fact that during some of the night scenes, it was so cold outside that you can clearly see everyone’s breath. That didn’t make a whole lot of sense. There was no explanation of what time of year any of this took place.

One element I found surprising is that Aniston’s character Tory owned a cell phone. The phone was thinner than I expected it to be. Remember, this was 1993. The movie was released in January of that year, so it was probably filmed in 1992. Those were very early days for cell phones. Despite that, she makes calls on it from the remote farmhouse where most of the movie takes place. I have my doubts that in those days a call could be made from a location like that.

The acting was not all that great. The movie had a fairly small cast. A few seemed like very rookie actors. Having said that, I felt that the acting got better overall as the film progressed. Either that, or I simply grew numb to how lackluster the performances were.

Tory moves into an abandoned house and two painters appeared on the scene shortly after she moves in. I have no idea where they came from. She walked outside and they were suddenly out there painting. I don’t know what vehicle brought them to the house, or who hired them. If that was explained at any point, I missed it. The painters amounted to a mentally slow adult named Ozzie and a kid named Alex. Why was a kid painting the house? Beats me. It was not explained what their relationship to each other was. They weren’t father and son because they both used their first names with each other. I was baffled by their presence for the duration of the movie. The actor who played the role of Ozzie was probably the weakest of the bunch. His performance bothered me at times.

One bit of praise I will offer is that Tory and the attractive male lead, Nathan, never kissed despite a lot of on-screen flirting. I expected there to be a kiss or some sort of hint that they were going to end up together after the drama with the Leprechaun ended. None of that happened. That was refreshing.

The previous owner of the house had been living in a nursing home for the past ten years. We met him in the opening scene, which took place ten years in the past. When Tory later goes to visit him to ask about the killer Leprechaun, the man hadn’t aged a day. I thought they could have at least tried to show some passing of time using makeup or something, especially since he has been in a nursing home. That was pretty sloppy.

The plot contained a lot of worn out tactics to build suspense. The truck wouldn’t start at the most critical moment, and that alone happened more than once. The trusty shotgun jammed at a very inopportune time. Every time someone was running from the Leprechaun, that person fell down at least once. That happened several times. Typical!

I noticed many times where the filmmakers sped up the motion to make it seem like something or someone was moving faster than they were. The trick wasn’t even done subtly. It was very deliberate and cheesy. The effect made those scenes look very silly, reminiscent of something like The Three Stooges.

A joke about Lucky Charms was made not once, but twice. I figured as much. The first reference came in the form of a prominently placed box of cereal in the cabinet, except the cereal was named Lucky Clovers, using a design that was intentionally similar to that of Lucky Charms. I suppose they didn’t get permission to use the real cereal in the movie. Do you have to get permission to use a product in a film? I don’t know.

At the end of the movie, the Leprechaun falls in a well. Nathan pours a can of gasoline in the well and tosses in a match. Everyone darts away and it suddenly explodes into a massive fireball that was comically large. One can of gas is not going to cause an explosion of that exaggerated magnitude. I thought I would point that out.

Overall, this movie is definitely not good. It is 93 minutes. It is amusing in places, but it’s not worth watching the entire movie to find those moments. I would only recommend watching it if you are home sick and have nothing else to do. I rated it 2 out 5 stars on Netflix.

The Film Sack podcast reviews this movie in episode 221. Now that I’ve seen the movie, I’m going to give that episode a listen. I wanted to write my review before I heard it so that the podcast wouldn’t skew my opinion.

Leprechaun Poster

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Yesterday I watched the original Star Trek movie, simply named “The Motion Picture.” It was released in 1979. It was the only Star Trek movie I had not seen. I have watched all the others at some point in time.

I should mention that I watched the movies in an odd order. The first movie I watched in the series was part 4. I saw that in the theater back in the day when it came out in 1986. I later watched part 5, then 6. I will say that Star Trek 6 is my favorite of all the movies. I saw it in the theater as well, and it is excellent. Years later, I rented part 2, which is very popular among the fans. After that, I went on to watch part 3. I have also seen Generations, the other movies with The Next Generation cast, and the more recent franchise reboots. I think the new ones are great.

I had never watched the original movie because I always thought it looked kind of dated, and it was too long. The runtime is 2 hours and 10 minutes, which I find to be ridiculously too long. My uncle warned me about it years ago. He told me that I probably wouldn’t like it. Among other things, he cautioned that the special effects were bad.

Now having seen it, I enjoyed the movie. I liked it more than I thought I would going into it. That said, the movie moved incredibly slowly at times. They could have cut 30 or 45 minutes off of the film and still told the story. No kidding. The ultra-slow camera pans and drawn out space scenes were unbearable at times. I don’t know how the editing department got away with the amount of fluff that padded this movie.

The special effects were far better than I expected. I was quite impressed with them. For a movie made in the late 70s, the effects and imagery were stunningly good. (There’s a catch. More on that below.)

The sound effects and background music were a bit much. I thought that the music was dubbed too high in the sound mix in a lot of places. It was almost a distraction at times.

The plot was relatively simple. I didn’t find it all that interesting early on, but I think it had a good payoff at the end. It was a clever idea. The big element that this movie lacked was a starship battle of some kind. The Enterprise launched only one photon torpedo that I recall, and that was to get out of a worm hole. I would have liked to have seen a space battle at some point.

The cast looked a little older than I expected, considering that this was the first movie in the series. The acting was pretty solid. William Shatner acted like a jerk for the first half of the movie, which seemed a bit out of place for his character.

I didn’t care for the uniforms in this movie. The colors were dull and not very exciting. The occasional usage of short-sleeved uniforms was totally uncalled for. I didn’t care for that at all. The uniforms were designed much better in subsequent years.

After watching the movie, I listened to the Film Sack podcast (episode 200) where they discussed the film. They talked about how unnecessarily long the movie was, among many other things. Overall, they didn’t care for the movie, and even went so far to say that Star Trek 5 is better than this one. I would probably agree with that, even though it’s common knowledge that Star Trek 5 is pretty dumb.

Getting back to the topic of special effects, I found out some important information while listening to the podcast. It turns out that the movie I watched yesterday on Netflix is the director’s cut, which was released in 2001. When the movie was re-released at that time, the studio remade the special effects using 90 CGI images and sequences. With that in mind, it’s no wonder I was impressed with the effects. I don’t know what the original movie looked like when it came out.

Overall, I liked the movie. I am a fan of Star Trek in general and I can’t believe I went this long without seeing this movie. I’m glad I watched it, but I couldn’t imagine sitting through those long drawn out two hours again.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Movie Review: Birdemic

I was discussing my love of bad movies when a friend recommended that I watch a movie called Birdemic: Shock and Terror. I had not heard of it until that moment. I looked it up and I was intrigued by the description and user comments. I had to watch it. I was warned that the movie was bad, but I wasn’t quite prepared for just how bad it actually turned out to be. It is truly awful.

Birdemic is a low-budget 2010 film by James Nguyen about a killer bird attack on a California town. It isn’t entirely clear where the movie is set, at least not that I picked up on. The plot is so weak that it barely even has one. The premise of the movie is that abuse of the environment leads birds to rise up against the human population. Global warming is a strong message throughout the film. In fact, it is mentioned obsessively and repeatedly.

The writing is nothing short of terrible. The majority of things that take place make little or no sense at all. There is almost no reason for any of the things that the actors say or do. Shortly into the movie, I had a feeling that it was written and directed by the same person. I was right. It’s as though James Nguyen wrote the movie in one night, then asked his friends to come and star in it.

At the beginning of the movie, the lead character, Rod, sees a cute girl in a diner and follows her out to speak to her. He tells the girl, Natalie, that they used to go to high school together. From that point forward, the movie becomes a bit of a love story, and follows the couple on their first few (very awkward) dates.

Rod and Natalie are the main characters in the movie. We are supposed to believe that they have a thing for each other, but they have no chemistry whatsoever. Neither of them have a single shred of acting ability. Rod, in particular, is simply terrible. Every word he said is strained and devoid of any feeling or human emotion. It’s like he had been hit in the head or something. I truly believe that there was something wrong with him. His acting in this movie is the single worst acting job I have ever seen. It blew my mind. A caveman reading a teleprompter could have acted circles around this guy.

Countless scenes seemed to be intentionally dragged out to fill time. The opening scene of Rod quietly driving down a winding road went on for more than five solid minutes. I watched it, thinking, “What is happening?!” In fact, half of the movie felt like an extended scene of someone driving somewhere. Throughout the movie, the camera would pan across a scene, moving incredibly slowly. Scenes would linger far too long after every conversation, resulting in bizarre awkward silences.

The movie drags on in slow, boring detail about the couple getting to know each other. It advanced so slowly that it was almost painful to watch at times. The birds do not show up until 47 minutes into the movie! Literally half of the 90-minute movie was over before we saw a bird attack.

When the birds finally do attack, it is sudden and loud. The screech of the birds was annoying to listen to. I had to turn the volume down every time they showed up. On top of their screeching, there was an added sound layer of what sounded like World War II fighter planes. There is no explanation for why that is mixed in.

The visual effects were unbelievably bad. The birds were two-dimensional and overlaid on the screen in such a way that they looked like someone had drawn them in by hand. They did not look like part of the scene by any stretch of the imagination. The birds barely moved, and when they did, it was in a looped and repeated fashion.

One of the funniest scenes was of Rod and Natalie in a bird fight with another couple in a hotel parking lot. They didn’t have any weapons, so they took coat hangers from the hotel closet and stood outside swatting them in the air at the birds. It was clear that the actors didn’t know how bad the special effects would be when they were later added in. The cheesy-looking birds that were drawn in weren’t even placed close to where the actors were looking or swatting. I was laughing out loud at how ridiculous it looked.

Beyond the bird effects, Birdemic is littered with technical problems. The sound jumped up and down throughout the movie. The volume would shoot up and down repeatedly during a single conversation, as though they had filmed the dialogue several times and just spliced random pieces together, haphazardly. There were also complete scenes in total silence, for reasons unknown. The sound editing, or lack of, was horrendous. There was an entire scene of the couple walking on the beach where you couldn’t understand a word they were saying. All you could hear was wind and the sound of the ocean while they were supposedly having an important conversation.

I would be shocked if there was any editing done to the movie in any way. Scenes transitioned from one to the next in such a choppy, poorly timed manner that it made the entire viewing experience difficult to follow and borderline unwatchable. After a conversion would end, the camera would linger for five to ten seconds, then jump straight into the middle of another scene without any attempt at a transition at all.

Dialogue was poorly written and ended abruptly. In one hilarious moment, Rod and Natalie were having conversation with a man in the woods, and after running out of lines, the man suddenly says, “Oh, I think I hear a mountain lion, I’d better go in the house.” What? There weren’t any mountains! I screamed laughing.

I would like to know what type of camera was used to film this movie. I watched the HD version, and the picture looked like it was filmed with an early 1980s camcorder. No attention was given to the lighting, particularly outside, where daytime scenes were blown out from too much sunlight. The amount of sunlight outside would change from moment to moment, making it obvious that they had shot a scene over the course of a few hours, then spliced random bits together.

Birdemic is a truly terrible movie. The movie garnered a mere 1.9 out of 10 user rating on IMDB. Yes, it’s that bad! I laughed out loud at how poorly made it was. I would say that it is probably the second worst movie I have ever seen. I’m glad I watched it, though. It was hilarious in its terribleness. I give it 1 out of 5 stars.

They made a sequel in 2013 called Birdemic 2. I have no idea how they managed to pull a sequel from this pile of crap. I don’t know if I have the will to sit through the second one.

If you want to hear a hilarious tear down of this movie, you must listen to the How Did This Get Made podcast, episode 31. They touch on a lot of the points I have made, and make fun of countless scenes in the movie. Definitely give it a listen. It’s a scream! In fact, the actress who played Natalie actually makes an appearance on the podcast. She tells us that the movie took seven months to film. Astonishing. I could have sworn it was shot in two days.

Birdemic DVD cover

Netflix Should Offer Single Disc Rentals

I’ve been a Netflix customer for a long time. For the past several years, I have only subscribed to the Instant Watch streaming service. I haven’t had a need for the full-fledged DVD subscription in quite some time. Having said that, it would be nice to be able to rent a disc once in a while.

I propose that Netflix offer individual DVD titles on demand. It would be nice to get a disc from time to time without having to subscribe to the full DVD rental service.

The titles available on DVD & Blu-ray far outnumber what is available to stream over the Internet on Instant Watch. If I want to rent a movie that is only available on disc, I should be able to rent it individually.

When I search for a movie that isn’t available to stream, I’d like to be able to click a button and have them mail me the DVD for a flat fee. They could charge $2 or so and add that charge to my bill the following month. They could set a time span of one week for the customer to watch and return the movie by mail.

Something worth mentioning is that currently, if you are not enrolled in the Netflix DVD subscription, you cannot even see those movie titles listed on their website. A search for a movie unavailable to stream merely displays a message that the title is not available on Instant Watch. The user isn’t allowed to access the list of titles on DVD. I’ve never really understood that policy.

These days, if I want to rent a movie on disc, I have to stop at a Redbox, and then go back to return the disc the following day. I’m not knocking Redbox; I think they offer a great service at a very low price. The only downside to Redbox is that their movie selection is limited to new releases.

I think that Netflix could gain extra revenue and make their customers happy if they implemented a single DVD rental policy as I have described. I think this is a great idea. They should have had something like this in place already.

Netflix mailer

Movie Review: The Amityville Horror

I watched the classic 1979 film The Amityville Horror. I watched in part because the Film Sack podcast recorded an episode about the movie last week. I’d wanted to see it anyway and decided that it was the perfect time.

I have listened to the Film Sack review about this movie before I sat down to write my own review. I regret doing that because it has altered my opinion of the movie. The panel on the show took pleasure in mocking it. I have to somewhat disagree with their overall opinions.

I enjoyed The Amityville Horror. I’ve seen countless movies of the haunted house genre before watching this movie. This film was before my time and I didn’t see it in its day. Despite having seen better movies in this genre in later years, I think it was really good for it’s time. It was fun to watch and it truly spooked me in parts.

I didn’t know a thing about this movie before I started watching it. I didn’t know that Margot Kidder played the role of the wife. My first reaction was a bit of disappointment, but I must say that she did a fine job and I found her to be surprisingly likable throughout the movie. James Brolin, playing the role of the husband, was a good actor as well. He wasn’t all that likable, but his character wasn’t supposed to be.

The acting was really good all around in this movie. I’d like to particularly mention the babysitter with the headgear that got locked in the bedroom closet. She really sold me on her fear. She really did an outstanding job. Whoever that girl was, I hope she went on to star in more movies.

I was not thrilled by the casting of the priests. The lead priest, played by Rod Steiger, was great. He fit the part and acted very well. The others I had a problem with. His partner, played by Don Stroud, was in a lot of TV shows in the 70s. He has played a lot of bad guys, if I recall. He wasn’t the right person to play a priest. He looked like more of a mob guy to me.

The other two priests who were higher up in the church were not cast right at all. Murray Hamilton was one of them. He seems like more of a TV actor than a movie actor, in my opinion. I can’t take him seriously as an authority figure. He looks like a mechanic. John Larch, who I immediately recognized as the prosecuting attorney in Airplane 2, played the role of his partner. I understand that Airplane had not been filmed at the time that The Amityville Horror was made, but seeing that guy in the middle of a scene that was supposed to be serious and dramatic did not work for me. I realize that I am not being fair by making that comparison.

As far as the overall plot is concerned, the movie doesn’t really go anywhere. It is two hours long and it spent all of that time building intensity that ultimately went nowhere. The ending was abrupt. The family drove away from the house in the final scene and the credits rolled. There was no payoff from all of the drama they spent building throughout the movie. I found that to be a bit disappointing. They should have written a more exciting ending and shortened the movie by 15 minutes or more.

I recorded some audio notes while I watched this to compare my thoughts to those on the Film Sick podcast. I’m tempted to share the audio files of notes that I made, but I’ll pass on that for now. Below, I’ll mention a few things that stood out for me.

The scene where the husband sat in a chair next to a dark window was equally predictable and exaggerated. I knew something was going to happen in the window, and sure enough, a black cat flies onto the windowsill out of nowhere with a ridiculously loud shriek. That was horror movie 101. I rolled my eyes at that tired old stunt. I would imagine that was a tired idea even in 1979.

The scene where the nun drives away from the house and stops her car to throw up wasn’t meant to be funny, but I laughed out loud. The sound effect of her barfing was hilariously violent and overdubbed. I paused the movie I was laughing so hard. Surely that was not the intention of the filmmakers.

When the wife comes home from the grocery store to find her madman husband furiously chopping wood in the yard, she asked him to help her carry in a car full of groceries. Together they carry in all of two paper bags with groceries in them. That was all she bought? For a house of five people? I kept wondering where the rest of the groceries were that she needed so much help with.

The scene where the little boys hand gets slammed in the window was painful to watch. They did a good job with that scene. I was under the impression that the kid had to have broken all of his fingers in that moment, but he seemed perfectly fine for the rest of the movie. Go figure.

Who was the weird man who showed up at the front door holding a six-pack of beer? He said he was the neighbor, but he appeared out of nowhere and was never seen again. I don’t understand what that scene was supposed to be about. It never came back around again and it was never explained what he was doing there.

The house was always very dark inside, particularly near the bottom of the stairs. There is a lit chandelier there, but it must have had 1-watt bulbs in it because there was barely enough light for the family to find their way around the house. The scenes shot from the outside of the house made it look completely lit from the inside, but all of the scenes in the house were noticeably dim. I wanted to shout at the screen, “You live in a haunted house! Turn some lights on!”

The special effects were admittedly pretty bad. Thankfully, they made very little use of special effects in the movie. The pig-looking demon with the glowing eyes in the upstairs window looked really bad. They should have taken a different approach in getting that across. That was just bad.

I know that I’ve listed a lot of things wrong with this movie, but overall, I enjoyed watching it. It was entertaining. It’s supposedly based on a true story, but I find it all a bit hard to believe in the real world. That aside, the movie was pretty intense and enjoyable for horror fans. I rated it 4 out of 5 stars on Netflix.

There are several sequels and reboots of this franchise but I am not in a hurry to watch any of them.

The Amityville Horror poster (1979)

FDR: American Badass

I’ve been on a kick of watching really dumb movies lately. The more dumb movies that I watch, the more Netflix recommends them to me. Some of them look so absurd that I can’t resist watching at least part of them to see if they are any good.

This brings me to the latest movie that I watched over the weekend. It’s called FDR: American Badass. The movie title and poster caught my attention immediately. The description on Netflix reads as follows:

After contracting polio from a werewolf bite, FDR won’t stop at single-handedly ending the Great Depression and prohibition. With the help of a team of historic figures, he must claim victory in World War II by defeating an army of Nazi werewolves.

Barry Bostwick plays Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Despite the fact that this is a slapstick comedy, Bostwick is actually a really good fit to play FDR. He looks the part, and his acting is really good when he isn’t making a complete fool of himself. That said, the vast majority of the things that he says and does are totally insane.

Lin Shaye plays Eleanor Roosevelt. As soon as I recognized her, I knew what kind of movie I was dealing with. She has played in a countless number of crazy roles in other comedies. If you know her, then you would know what I’m talking about. She plays the role of Eleanor well, and her character is surprisingly written to be a little saner than the others.

The movie begins in the woods, where then governor Roosevelt is hunting with some other men. A werewolf chases them down, and a comically absurd shootout and fight scene ensues. FDR is bitten in the leg and wakes up in the hospital with polio and can no longer walk.

He decides to run for president. His travels and campaigning were funny, and were written to make some sort of sense. After he is elected, the movie loses a bit of direction and the passage of time was not very clear. It seemed as though 15 minutes after he takes office in the movie, he is suddenly in his last term, with little to no explanation of the middle part.

The first half of the movie was hilarious. It seemed more thought out than the later portion. At some point in the middle, it seemed like the actors began making it up as they went along, with their driving motivation being to do the craziest thing they could think of. The overuse of gratuitous profanity was hit and miss. I’d bet that a good portion of it was ad-libbed. The shock value of their language wore off after a while.

Many jokes are made at the expense of his shrunken polio legs. It is brought up many times. When he would uncover his legs, the camera would cut to the image of quivering little baby legs.

In what was likely the craziest scene in the movie, a White House secretary seduces him. Before you know it, she hoses his legs down with ketchup and mustard, and proceeds to rub them up and down while he howls in delight. That scene was so unexpected and so ridiculously over the top that I was screaming laughing. I had to pause the movie I was laughing so hard.

The split screen scenes with the world leaders talking on the phone did not amuse me very much. Likewise with the whole sequence involving Abraham Lincoln. I know that this is a crazy comedy, but Abraham Lincoln had no business being in this movie. I think that whole segment should have been scrapped.

Overall, I liked the movie. It is completely and utterly ridiculous in every way. You have to want and expect that type of movie going in, or you’re not going to like it. If FDR himself could watch this movie, I would imagine that he would not be very happy about it.

I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on Netflix. My liking is closer to a 3.5, but half stars aren’t allowed. Since portions of the movie fell flat, I rounded my rating down to a 3.

FDR American Badass